Well Hello There!

I think I may have stumbled upon something that might make sense with Chris. His visual stimming has increased and we are beginning to notice from over the past couple of days that he is having tantrums more often. So before I address the tantrums, which is hard to do because you're always unsure if it is just the terrible 2's or the autism, I thought it was time to get to the bottom of this visual thing.

In Jenny McCarthy's first book, Louder Than Words, she talks about her son Evan and how he looked at things out of the corner of his eyes. This immediately caught my attention (not the only thing that caught my attention in this book...it's a great story, she went through HELL...her son went through HELL) because Chris tends to mainly stim by looking through his peripheral vision too. So Jenny has this special opthamologist who works with kids with autism who said that there tends to be an issue with depth perception and these kids and that is why they use the peripheral vision. Hmm...now I am all about this. Really because we went and saw an eye doctor who totally rushed through the exam, mostly because Chris was not having any of it, but I had a feeling that he was just going through the motions to get it over with. Besides, how can the doctor tell if something is wrong just by looking in his eyes with a freaking flashlight, especially when my kid can't tell him what he is seeing. My mommy radar wasn't satisfied with this exam, even as it was happening, and knew that it wasn't thorough enough. So now that we have a diagnosis, I am on a mission to find an eye doctor that has patients with autism. Need to make some calls...

Back to the tantrums...I am worried because he never tantrums. Could it be now that we got the diagnosis and we will start seeing new things happen? I can't say that he's regressed because he is doing well, but when new autistic stuff starts to happen, you tend to get concerned. He was looking up at the ceiling fan and spinning around tonight...he never did that before.

Otherwise we had a nice day. We went to Powder Mill Park and fed the fish at the fish hatchery. This was one of my FAVORITE things to do as a child and I got such a thrill being there with my kids today. Chrissy cracked up when the fish would come to the surface for the food, although he probably would have jumped in if he could. Now I can see why some parents have those leases on their kids. For those with autism, there is a tendency for them to wander and run away. That is Chris...he will keep going and going and going and not notice anything or anybody. That scares me to death. That is why we cannot take our eyes off of him for a SECOND. They even make temporary tattoos for these kids with their name and contact information in case they get lost. These kids can't tell you who they are or who their mother is if they get lost...I thought autism was my worst nightmare, it's now him wandering off and getting lost. We will be installing chain locks on the tops of all the doors to the outside because he can open the doors now. This is a whole different spin on child proofing...

Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful mothers that I know. I hope you have a beautiful day with your children...below is something that I found for you.

Because you are strong

Even when you’re not

Because you are always there

Especially when you can’t be

Because when people say, ‘How do you do it?’ you wonder, ‘How would I not?’

Because you can make everything better with a band-aid and a kiss

And because it nearly destroys you when you can’t

Because you laugh at knock-knock jokes that make no sense

Because you cry at the drop of a hat

Because you are terrified to let them go

And because you do

Because you haven’t eaten a hot meal in years

And because you’ve barely noticed

Because you know all the words to ‘hush little baby’

Or because you make them up

Because you’ve read the same bedtime story so many times

That you could do it in your sleep

And because sometimes you do

Because your kiss to a hot forehead is no less accurate than a thermometer

Because you know the power of ice cream

And the power of withholding it

Because you have eyes in the back of your head

Or at least they think you do

Because you know there is no finer art than what’s on your fridge

Because there is no limit to your love

But there are limits and rules and expectations in your home

Because in your eyes, every human being is another mother’s child

Because there is literally nothing you wouldn’t do to protect your babies

Because your babies may be 35, but they’re still your babies

Because they make you the best version of yourself

Especially when you feel like the worst

Because the phrase ‘full time mom’ strikes you as absurd

Because you can’t imagine what it would mean to be a ’part-time mom’

Because you are patient

Even when you’re not

Because you could watch your child sleep for hours

Because you see miracles in the smallest victories

And opportunities in every defeat

Because you would take all their pain if you could

And because you don’t

Because you can’t imagine life without them

Because you know and do and are so much more than you give yourself credit for

Because today is your day

Happy Mother’s Day